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Confessions Motherhood

i hated pregnacy

March 22, 2017

Yup, that’s true. I hated pregnancy. When we found out we were expecting, I was overjoyed and excited. We’ve always wanted children and were actively trying. While being ecstatic about the prospect of having children, I was unsure about what to expect with pregnancy. Before we found out there were two in there, I had very bad morning sickness. I could only eat for a few hours during the day. And like clockwork, I would throw up every single thing I ate, if I ate after 4pm. This went on every single day for four months. I remember being so hungry, I looked at a plate of fettuccine alfredo and inhaled it. Two minutes after, I was in the washroom and that undigested plate of noodles was in the toilet looking back at me. It’s my clearest memory of pregnancy. And that’s terrible.

Soon after discovering I was carrying multiples, I learnt in twin pregnancies, the hCG hormone is higher and can trigger bad morning sickness. And that feeling sick is more common in multiple pregnancies. Did knowing that make me feel better? Knowing it wasn’t me and there was a reason for my sickness? No. It really didn’t make me feel any better. I just lay on the bathroom floor crying because I was so tired of throwing up. I didn’t care if it was the high amount of hCG making it so, I just didn’t want to feel that way anymore.

Didn’t connect with them much at this stage. But I sure love these kiddos now!

As for twin pregnancies go, I was very fortunate to have a relatively smooth one, I was very mobile up until the end, at 38 weeks. Most moms of multiples head for bed rest and in my one good friend’s case–hospitalized bed rest. So all in all, I was lucky. But that didn’t turn me into a woman who “enjoyed” their pregnancy. There was no bumpy bliss, there was no glow. Unless you consider sweating glow. I didn’t sit in a rocking chair staring out a window imagining what my baby would look like. I went on with my daily activities as normal. I was happy to be carrying life but I did not have that “connection” to my unborn children. That connection came after (and strongly) when the boys were born. Maybe I’m a visual person, I need to feel and see my baby to build that connection. Who knows?

Just to clarify, I was happy to be on a beach not because I was pregnant… 😉

Regardless of feeling all these seemingly negative things, I’m proud to say I don’t feel bad about it nor will I ever apologize for it. It was how I felt and how I still presently feel. I want all the moms-to-be know: if you are having a tougher pregnancy, a high risk one or you’re just not enjoying the process as much as you thought you would have, IT’S FINE. YOU ARE NORMAL. However, I do recommend rounding up a support group. Friends, family, and professionals. Always talk to your doctor or healthcare provider if you have any questions or concerns it might be a more serious issue, such as Antenatal Depression.

I did not have antenatal depression but when I did feel down or felt the hormonal imbalance, I forced myself to get up and do something I enjoyed. I met with my girlfriends, I took a bath, sitting on the porch and got some air. I made myself do it even if I didn’t feel like it. And once I got my foot out the door and going, it made my day better. Find something you love to do and focus on. It helped me and I hope it helps you!

So I’m just here to tell you, if you hate pregnancy and want to punch anyone who tells you to “enjoy” it–I understand. I really do. And there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Making tiny humans and being a baby factory is hard work, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for feeling the way that you do. You’re body is changing, your life will definitely change. So you are allowed to have hesitations, reservations, questions and concerns. Calling pregnancy a life adjustment is an vast understatement. Try to seek out healthy coping mechanisms and always talk to someone.

As always, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a 9 month tunnel but you’ll get there! And try not to punch anyone in the process. 😉

xx, CiCi

Food Motherhood

toddler friendly, vegan cookies

March 17, 2017

I’m a huge skeptic of vegan baked goods. Being a cake designer by trade, it’s hard for me to fathom NOT using butter, eggs, and milk in my baked goods. But alas, I’m also very open to finding alternative ways to satisfy my childrens’ sweet tooth without resorting to sugar all the time. My kids are incredibly active, very hyper on a normal day, just imagine them ingesting an unnecessary about of sugar kind of scares me. They’ll probably run through walls afterwards. Hulk style.

I found this vegan recipe on a model’s instagram story and my first thought was: this girl looks like that, no way are her cookies are good. Yes, I judged her. Terrible I know but if you saw this gorgeous girl in her bikini you would also think there is no way she eats cookies. Anyways, I digress.

So I tried them, the recipe and method is very easy. Anyone can make these! The ingredients are easy to find and not complicated. Because there is no refined white sugar, flour, butter or eggs–it’s a rather heathly cookie alternative.

An aforementioned disclaimer, this cookie’s texture is not your ooey-gooey buttery sugary concoction, if you are looking for that, go get a double chocolate chip cookie at your local bakery. It’s a cross between a peanut butter and oatmeal cookie. Because of the oats and oat flour, this cookie is slightly drier and has a more crumbly texture. However, I find them very good (for vegan cookie standards) and I love feeding them as a treat to the boys! Give it a go!

 

Recipe found and adapted from @alyssalynch’s instagram.

1 Cup Almond Flour
1 Cup Rolled Oats (I used what I had, quick rise oats)
1/2 Cup Oat Flour (I took my quick rise oats, pulsed in a blender, ta da! Flour!)
1/2 Cup Maple Syrup
‘lil Baking Soda (about 1/2 teaspoon-ish)
‘lil Vanilla (about 1/2-1 teaspoon)
1/2 Cup Nut Butter (I used peanut butter)

Mix all ingredients together to make a paste.
Scoop out about a teaspoon sized balls and round out with hands. Place on parchment paper or greased cookie sheet. Make an indentation for the filling (if using).
Bake for 10-13 minutes at 350F degrees.

I prefer these cookies plain but feel free to top them off with some jam and a squiggle of peanut butter. This recipe is very easy going, as you can tell by the “lil” measurements. Don’t stress too much. I hope your kids enjoy them!

 

xx, CiCi

 

 

Motherhood

toddler night terrors and how we cope

February 16, 2017

A challenging ordeal for any mom to go through is when her toddler gets a night terror. When the boys turned two, Max started getting night terror episodes. The first time it happened, I was in shock and frightened out of my mind. So I’m sharing our experience to help moms out there understand it does happen to many toddlers and hopefully you can find some comfort in some of my coping tips. Continue Reading

Featured Motherhood

our current favorite toddler apps

January 27, 2017

There are always debates revolving around technology and kids. But I’m for it. Sometimes I need to make dinner and not have them touch the oven. To do a load of dishes and not have them throw the knives around. Sometimes I just need them to be still and quiet so I can rest for a few minutes. Mom life, it’s a struggle. I also feel there are positives to regulated screen time and no, I’m not saying it to make myself feel better. Continue Reading

Motherhood

to moms who can’t

January 20, 2017

Many inspirational quotes begin with “You can do it!”. Posts that say moms can do whatever they put their minds to. Well what if you just can’t? Or can’t right now? It’s not as marketable as “You Can!” but its definitely a reality for most. A reality that hit me square in the face the other night. I was looking at going back to school. After 5 years in University and a degree, why the heck do I want to go back? I digress, that story for another time. Continue Reading

Lifestyle Motherhood

happy birthday steve

January 17, 2017

Happy birthday to the man of our life. The person who works hard so the boys can have me at home with them. He makes our life possible. Without him we wouldn’t have choo choo trains, kids would bathe haphazardly and the house would be a mess. As all married people know, spouses can drive you insane so let me take this oppourtunity to express how I’m grateful for Steve. And to remind myself why I am so lucky to have him. Continue Reading

Food Lifestyle Motherhood

Baking: Holiday Tins

January 3, 2017

French Madeleines, Spicy and Sweet Candied Pecans, Christmas Cake Cookies and Chocolate Turtles were featured in my holiday tins this year. Here are the links to the recipes I used. These little treats, keep well, taste fantastic and are a wonderful Christmas gift. And throughout the year it would make a wonderful “anytime” gift, a hostess gift, or a thank you for that someone special.

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Lifestyle Motherhood

Photobooks, an obsession

December 9, 2016

I don’t often do comparative reviews because quite frankly, I do not use high enough quantity or a large variety of products to do quality comparisons. However, there are products I do like and am always happy to share my finds. I love photo books. And in this digital age, we’ve sort of lost the art of the tangible. I’ve always been one who likes reading physical books over a digital reader. There’s something special in the smell of paper and the act of flipping pages. It’s the same philosophy with photos, I prefer photo albums over computer files.

photobook3
I’ve used Artifact Uprising for years and really love the product. I’ve made family photo books, anniversary books and around Max and Logan’s birthday I make a large hardcover book chronicling their full year. Recently I’ve used another photobook company called Chatbooks. If you subscribe to their book series you get a new photobook sent when your instagram hits every 60 photos. It has its pros and cons which I’ll explain below. Continue Reading

Featured Motherhood

mommy confessional: when you see your flaws in your children

November 17, 2016

Look at how cute they are there. Let me tell you, explain to you, ASSURE you they are not always cute. Sometimes they are monsters, borderline insane even.  Honestly, some days they make me question why I wanted children in the first place. Why would I give up my job, my life, my sanity to be stuck at home with two pint sized tyrants who seemingly want to make my life a living hell. And I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. ALL mothers have these moments. So let’s take a moment to remember all those moms who have come before us, who survived and lived to tell the tale…okay. Now we’ve got that out of the way.

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Motherhood

oh the terrible twos

November 4, 2016

Hi friends. Do you have children? Do said children drive you crazy? *Here! Here!* Well, we are at the 28th month mark, 2.5 years old. How did my sweet, little blubs of children become raging terrors? How did this happen? Well two years old, that’s what happened. Today I am sharing a bit of my reality with you so if you have a little two-nager of your own, you’re not alone mama. We’re in this together, along with the little tyrants. Continue Reading